TAYLOR HAWKINS

Caroline McConnico
Apr 21, 2022
4 min read

Updated: Oct 19, 2022

People like Taylor Hawkins give me a writing block. It's not that I don't want to write. It's not like I'm not thinking about writing 99% of the time. It's not like I don't have the motivation. But everytime I try to sit down and spit something onto the page I choke. So, I'm trying again.

People like Taylor Hawkins deserve so much more than they were dealt. People like Taylor Hawkins taught me to really love music. People like Taylor Hawkins taught me what passion looks like.

Here's some context: "Drummer Taylor Hawkins even sang for all of us, murdering 'Somebody to Love' by Queen."

That's from one of my blog posts last June when I went to New York. I saw Foo Fighters in Madison Square Garden for the first full-capacity show in MSG since Covid. Little did I know then that I was seeing Foo Fighters for the first and probably last time that night. And indefinitely that was the one and only time I would ever breathe the same air as Taylor Hawkins.

If you have never heard of Foo Fighters, ask your dad. He should know. My dad introduced them to me when I was a little girl, often playing their music in the car. I distinctively remember him showing me a video of lead singer Dave Grohl playing the guitar while his daughter hangs on him and asks him to play with her. Not once does Grohl stop playing the guitar even when he's completely distracted. I remember liking that video so much because I liked to think it was like my father and I, bonding over a love for music.

I think Foo Fighters were always just there, like background music, even if I wasn't aware of it. There's actually specific Foo Fighters song that is one of my dad's many alarms for waking up in the morning. On trips, I remember hearing that alarm play over and over again to the point it was ingrained in my mind, heart, and soul. You could say we were literally eating, sleeping, and breathing Foo Fighters.

Now that I've proved my Foo Fighters credibility, we get to the sad part: Prom day.

Prom day is something that's supposed to be nothing but happy. You're supposed to wake up feeling gorgeous; a pit in your stomach forming from all of the anticipation. Instead, I woke up to hear that my favorite drummer had passed away in Colombia.

It was still a great prom day, don't be misguided. But instead of listening to fun and girly pop songs while running errands, I made my friend listen to hardcore old dudes rock out. Outside of the Lowe's grocery store, I blasted "My Hero," sending a prayer to Hawkins' family and friends. This all sounds horribly cheesy, but it was the least I could do.

The person I hurt most for is Dave Grohl. After already having lost Kurt Cobain, Grohl has to face losing someone even closer to him; his best friend. Taylor and Dave were the tightest because of the affinity they shared for their abnormal careers. They both knew that the only time they felt truly themselves was when they were on stage together, jamming and playing off one another.

"It's times like these you learn to love again."

That's a lyric from a Foo Fighters' song entitled "Times Like These". It's times like these we learn to value those truly electric people we have in our lives. Taylor was one of those people. If you look at any picture of Hawkins, you'll understand just what type of person he was. He looked like he was always going to jump out of the picture, like he was meant to be in motion and only in motion. He just looked like he was having the time of his life. And I guess he ultimately was indeed having the time of his life.

It scares me to one day grow up to not remember Taylor. Not that I would ever forget him, but that the importance of his life fades as I mature into an adult. It's almost has if this band holds a piece of my childhood that I didn't even realize it had.

Senior year is right around the corner and I'm terrified. This is a time where I would be putting "Everlong" on while I soak in the shower, thinking about the implications of growing up. I feel pain when I hear the song now. All I can think about is one day getting older than Taylor Hawkins. Being older and "wiser" than one of your heroes is weird. Will it make him any less significant?

It kind of hit me the other day in the car. I was thinking, One thing that always helps me slow time down is listening to music. I can escape into a place I don't feel so small with music. Lately, there's been lots of Foo Fighters playing throughout my room. I listen to them from my floor, trying to cling to the feeling of irreplaceable time.

I haven't posted a blog in a while, and I don't feel good about that. In a perfect world, blogging would be something I do as second nature. I don't want to push myself to type, think, and feel. I've felt too much in the past three weeks to the point of regurgitating it all on this page. I'm looking forward to more regurgitations if possible.

I hope this post isn't too late to write. And I hope I've done an okay job describing Taylor Hawkins's impact on anyone with ears and hearts. I know people everywhere listen to music when their thoughts get too loud. We all want to drown out the voices in our heads sometimes. It's a good thing Foo Fighters are perfect for that.