New Year, New Moments, No Avetts

Dear readers, Happy New Year.

Happy new beginnings, happy refresh, happy '22.

In all honesty, readers, I did not start the new year the way I had initially planned. Originally, I planned to attend a concert on the 31st to sing and dance my way into 2022. I would let the Avett Brothers (yes, THE Avett Brothers) serenade me into the new year with some much-needed encouragement. I wanted more than anything to map out my year with the advice the Avett Brother's give out all too generously with lyrics like:

"But tomorrow I think

I'll just try to keep the day wide open

And as much as they will have me

Be with people that I love"

Sadly, this plan was quickly dismantled by a particular fiend: Omicron. Although this postponement of the show was upsetting, it was essential and wholly understood. I did sit and cry a little bit, knowing how vital hearing their syrupy words would have been to my conscious, especially heading into a year where I have to finally figure myself out. I just know hearing, "If you're loved by someone, you're never rejected, decide what to be and go be it," would leave me feeling hopeful and in control of the road ahead of me.

But that fate just wasn't in the cards this year. It's not the way I was supposed to start the year and that's okay. Instead, this surprise postponement left me time to think of how much the music I surround myself with means to me. Sometimes, it's not even the music I choose to be around; it's the music that life brings to me. I find myself feeling grateful for the songs my father decides to share with me and the moments my mother and I have listening to whatever crap is on the radio. It's shown me that in reality, music is more than a tune to hum and a beat to tap your foot to; it's the caterpillar in the butterfly effect of memories.

This caterpillar seems to crawl all around us. Even right now, sitting in my living room, I see it worming its way into my brain. My siblings sit on the couch playing games with one another while my dad plays music over our stereo. We may all be doing different things, but we are all together. And I just know that one day, when I'm in college on my own, I'll remember the times we spent just like that and the songs that happened to be uniting each of us.

The music caterpillars aren't necessarily cocooning to become happy memories; sometimes, it's the exact opposite. For example, I can name the song that was playing last week when my mother and I got into a quarrel in the car. I can remember wanting desperately to turn the music off so that my mind wouldn't have negative connotations with a song that I like. But in retrospect, I'm glad I didn't reach for that pause button. However, not my finest moment, memories like this will also be missed one day. And that one day, I might just hear that song again and reminisce being that close with my mother, so much that we fight like best friends.

I used my butterfly effect theory to put the concert postponement in perspective. On the one hand, I wanted to scream. How dare my New Year's Eve plans get destroyed? But honestly, no matter what I ended up doing on New Year's Eve, I knew in my heart that there would be music playing that would fester and harvest memories. This music did indeed not include gorgeous lyrics from the Avett Brothers, such as:

"One little song

Give me strength to the leave the sad and the wrong

Bury safely in the past where I've been living

Alive but unforgiving

Let me go, let me go, let me go, let me go"

Instead, I listened to music with my friends in the car, at dinner, and on the ride home. We listened and screamed along to some of our favorite songs that all made us laugh. These songs, although not particularly beautiful, make their own happy memories.

As an alternative to playing in front of roughly 22,000 people, The Avett Brothers spent their New Years' eve on an Instagram Livestream, where they played their music, bringing us into the new year virtually.

If you still don't believe me about the whole butterfly effect thing, look around and find your own caterpillars. Everyone has them. And this year, I hope to find more caterpillars, nurturing them to grow into magnificent memory butterflies. So from the Avett Brothers to you:

"Forever I will move like the world that turns beneath me

And when I lose my direction I'll look up to the sky

And when the black dress drags upon the ground

I'll be ready to surrender, and remember

We're all in this together

If I live the life I'm given, I won't be scared to die"

Find your caterpillars. May it be happy or sad, uplifting or tragic, we all need music to make memories for our lives. So in all sincerity, Happy New Year, butterfly catchers.

Thank you so much for reading! Here are the Avett Brothers songs from which I pulled some of my favorite lyrics for this blog post:

"I Should've Spent the Day With My Family" - from The Third Gleam

"Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise" - from I And Love And You

"Souls Like The Wheels" - from Magpie and The Dandelions

"The Once And Future Carpenter" - from The Carpenter