I Hate August and You Should To

Hey reader!

I hope you're doing well during the worst month in the entire year.

I hope you're drinking plenty of water during this miserable drought. I hope your eating in this 31 day food desert. I hope you're still finding ways to float during this time of relentless gravity, tugging you back to a dreadful reality.

Wanna know what my problem with August is? I haven't nearly long enough.

Here's a sketched bulletin list for you:

- Too Dang Hot

- End Of The Summer/Not Quite Fall

- August Fashion Or Lack Thereof

- School, School, School

- Overall, Depressing

Now, let's talk this out. I may seem crazy for having had this list saved into my Notes App on my phone for about a week now, but I simply do not care. I hate August. Let's take a closer look at my reasons. I know you don't want to, but it's important to me that you know why I despise the 8th month of the year.

(FYI: I am so sorry to any and all August babies. It's only going to get worse from here.)

Too Dang Hot:

Who sincerely likes August weather? Every morning, I think I might die. Not only from the heat, but especially from the humidity. It feels as though the Earth is sweating along with you. And don't get me started about the random downpours and thunderstorms. This is that special time of the year where you are practically guaranteed to come inside either drenched from sweat or drenched from rain (or possibly just drenched from your own tears). The sun shines too bright, the moon takes too long to come out, and the air is unbreathable. My lungs feel muggy as the sun claims old rain as its next victim and the steam coming off of the street is all that I inhale.

End of Summer/Not Quite Fall:

August is that weird month that falls between two opposing seasons, confusing everyone on what exactly it's supposed to be. Its only purpose seems to be to just act as a dead period, filling the void before a new season takes full effect. Summer camps have ended, yet school hasn't started. Friends are on completely different schedules. This is nothing to do, no where to be, and no one to see. Basically, the month has no real meaning. Except to have no meaning. If that makes any sense.

August Fashion Or Lack Thereof:

Someone please tell me how to look cute during August. Please. It's not quite fall so you can't wear any beloved jeans, as your legs will catch fire. You can't wear a sassy sweater as the yarn will be damaged by your natural perspirant. Leaving you to your own devices, August forced you to pick up the most uncomfortable and unflattering piece of clothing on this planet: Jorts. Jean shorts look good on maybe, MAYBE, a handful of people at MOST. They're tight and stiff and hard to do any sort of activity in. And honestly, they're just not that cute. And who decided that cut-off jorts and a tank top would be a teenage girl's August uniform. Because I just wanna talk. Wearing next-to-nothing is not style. It's just not. So please, can we just accept the fact that we should just all stay inside and not dress until September. August just isn't a fashionable month.

School, School, School:

If all of the months are days of the week, August is Monday. It just is. I don't make the rules. August is the month where you are constantly reminded of the dreaded school year ahead. Target school supplies sections fill aisles and first day outfits flood Pinterest boards. The month acts as a ticking time bomb, ready to explode the day school starts. Goodbye summer. Hello TI-82s and # 2s.

Overall, Depressing:

August is the month when everything is about to die. You look around, knowing what is going to happen and you do nothing. You do nothing at all. You watch nature as it soaks up its last couple of weeks alive, completely and utterly oblivious to its own death date. It's depressing. From what I gather, the only good thing about August is the song itself, sung by Taylor Swift. And that's pretty depressing too. That really says something doesn't it?

Last Thoughts:

I deeply apologize for complaining so deeply regarding this month. It's not my intention to sound negative. Actually, it kind of is. To get through the rest of this month, I've made a playlist, entitled 'august sucks'. Because it does.

This month, I hope you make the most of it, filling it with plenty of sunburns, jorts, and Jack Johnson.

Thanks for reading. Happy August.

The playlist in question.......

p.s. If you want, you definitely should check out my Spotify @carolinemcconnico for more equally encouraging and depressing playlists like this one ;)