A Return To Writing...

Happy March, readers. After a month's hiatus, I want to return to blogging.

I don't exactly know why I stopped. I guess I was overwhelmed with homework, extracurriculars, and friends. I don't intend for these things to happen. But I can't help but slack off occasionally, primarily when I'm tasked with a hundred other things to do.

I guess I'm writing this as a kind of update. I'm saying, "I'm alive!" I'm declaring that I want to begin writing again. I just don't know where to start.

I can't continue to pull words listlessly out of my brain, for I will run out of them. I feel as though every word I'm typing is being drawn from my mind, thrown upon this post, retired from my head.

This all sounds quite poetic, electric even, but it simply isn't so. If anything, it makes me feel stupid. The kind of stupid where you forget common words and can't formulate your thoughts the way you want them to sound. The kind of stupid where you spend an entire blog post writing about something so small and niche that no one else understands.

I guess you could say I've been feeling uninspired. Yet, when inspiration strikes, the motivation to write leaves a note on the counter and flees for Mexico. The sheer anxiety of lousy writing is enough to talk me out of blogging something new.

This feels like a pity party, and that's not what I'm about. Mostly, I'm writing this to set some real goals. I'm drafting a to-do list for my peace of mind.

I want to post weekly. I want to write about what interests me, make myself happy, and not fill space with what I think others will enjoy. I want to prioritize blogging and being my own outlet. I want to get more sleep. I want it all, etc. etc.

My updates tend to get very personal, and I apologize for that. There's no reality where this is particularly interesting to you, but I guess you'll just have to bear with me. I promise to be more entertaining in the future.

I'm working on something exciting for next week. That is, it's exciting to me. I hope you'll like it too. Or at least pretend to.

Until then, thank you for mindlessly reading my mindless thoughts. Trust me when I say that I want to find motivation; it's just not always that simple. And I think that's ok. Sometimes, you must accept defeat and choose sleep instead. Giving in to your body's needs is ultimately more important. At least that's what I try and tell myself.